Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
