How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
