I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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