sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
