Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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