If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
