I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
