I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
