He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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