"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
