youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
