Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
