And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
