goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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