ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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