I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
