foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The air taste purple.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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