Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
