I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
