My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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