i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
