So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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