I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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