Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
