I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize