Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Alive.
So much puke
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
