Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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