Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
