I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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