entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
