I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
