you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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