Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
