Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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