Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
