My first STD was from a foam party
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
