i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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