i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
