She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
