Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
