i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
