I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
