new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No I am not eating basil off your cock
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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