It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
