Pappa wants mamma naked
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
