I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
