forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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