Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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