Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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