It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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