He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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