GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
