i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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