Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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