i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
