Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
