I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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