Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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